Friday, January 28, 2011

My brother, my hero.. =)





If I were being asked who are the heroes in my life
Without hesitation I will say that my brother is one of the heroes in my life
At least that is what I feel
Since I was a little he always relents to me
Although when i was growing up some circumstances caused us separated
And we did not really know each other's condition
But we both still kept in touch
Until the situation was getting worse that strengthened us instead


He was there when I lost hope
I remember clearly his words that had uplifted my spirit at the moment I lost hope when the person who supposed to be more responsible in my life ignored me
And I am very grateful because he really fulfilled its promise as he had said to me
I think he had sacrificed everything to fulfill his promise, and I will not forget it
I always prided himself among my friends, and I do not exaggerate it, because indeed he deserves to be prided in front of everyone
Although he was like away from me because of misunderstandings and different mindset
But I certainly know that he really cares about me, as I also really care about him.
And I'm profoundly thankful to God because He has sent a guardian angel into my life.


When we are finally being separated again by the distance, I still pray for him
Because that's all I can do to repay his merits


But this time ..
When I surely know I should be doing something to help him, I am not able doing anything instead
And it's truely sad because I was too late to realize it, because I also did not prepare it before
He does not ask for anything
But I really want a thing that would be done only once in his life becomes something that will not be forgotten
He does not care about this, because for him it does not matter
But I know, if he were just ignored me undoubtedly he could fulfill all his wishes, and I fully appreciate his sacrifice.


And at the moment like this ..
At the moment I can not do anything when I deeply want to help him
I pray to the Owner of this universe so that He will open the way
I pleaded to Him to provide the best in the most beautiful day in the life of person whom I really care about
And I know He will do it, because He also love me and love the person whom I love, who is my brother.



Kalau di tanya siapa pahlawan dalam hidup saya
Tanpa ragu saya akan bilang kalau kakak saya adalah salah satu pahlawan dalam hidup saya
Setidak nya itu lah yang saya rasa kan
Sejak saya kecil dia selalu mengalah untuk saya
Walaupun saat saya beranjak remaja keadaan memisahkan kami
Dan kami tidak begitu tahu keadaan masing – masing
Tapi kami tetap saling berhubungan satu sama lain
Sampai tahap di mana keadaan memburuk yang malah jadi semakin mempererat kami

Dia ada di saat saya hilang harapan
Saya ingat benar kata – kata nya yang kembali membangkitkan semangat saya ketika saya hilang harapan di saat orang yang seharus nya lebih bertanggung jawab dalam hidup saya malah mengabai kan saya
Dan saya sangat bersyukur karna dia sungguh - sungguh memenuhi janji nya seperti yang telah di katakan nya kepada saya
Saya pikir dia telah mengorbankan segalanya untuk memenuhi janji nya tersebut, dan saya tidak akan melupakan hal tersebut
Saya selalu membanggakan dia di hadapan teman – teman saya, dan saya tidak melebih – lebihkan nya, karna memang dia patut untuk saya banggakan di hadapan semua orang
Walau dia sempat seperti menjauh dari saya karna kesalah pahaman dan pola pikir yang berbeda
Tapi saya tahu dengan jelas kalau dia benar – benar menyayangi saya, seperti saya juga benar – benar menyayangi diri nya.
Dan saya sungguh bersyukur kepada Tuhan karna Dia telah mengirim seorang malaikat penjaga dalam hidup saya.


Saat akhirnya kami terpisahkan kembali oleh jarak, saya tetap mendoakan dia
Karna cuma itu yang bisa saya lakukan untuk membalas jasa – jasa nya

Tapi saat ini..
Saat saya tahu seharusnya saya bisa melakukan sesuatu untuk membantu dia, saya malah tidak bisa melakukan apa – apa
Dan itu benar – benar sangat menyedihkan karna saya terlambat menyadari nya, karna saya tidak mempersiapkan nya juga sebelum nya
Dia tidak minta apa – apa
Tapi saya sungguh ingin hal yang hanya di lakukan sekali dalam hidup nya menjadi sesuatu yang tidak terlupakan
Dia tidak mempermasalahkan hal ini, karna buat dia hal itu tidak penting
Tapi saya tahu, seandainya dia dulu mengabaikan saya pasti lah dia bisa memenuhi semua keinginan nya, dan saya sepenuhnya menghargai pengorbanan nya.

Dan di saat – saat seperti ini..
Di saat saya tidak bisa berbuat apa – apa ketika saya benar – benar ingin membantu nya
Saya berdoa kepada sang Empunya semesta agar Dia membukakan jalan
Saya memohon agar Dia memberikan yang terbaik di hari yang paling indah dalam hidup orang yang sangat saya sayangi
Dan saya tahu Dia akan melakukan nya, karena Dia juga menyayangi saya dan menyayangi orang yang saya sayang, yaitu kakak saya.


For :
My brother, my hero :)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

FAITH and LIE



Outside it's now raining heavily
and i dont really know what i'm suppose to do
even actually i've still got some emails i havn't replied yet
but i don't think i want to reply it at this moment.

I'm wondering what is in my mind now
and in fact i already knew what that is
is a ton of questions about things as usual.

There are two exact words in my mind at this very moment
FAITH, following by LIE
why do these two words just come up into my mind..??
maybe because i just saw something
something that just makes me think about things in life generally.

In life, we all have our own desire, our own passion, or our own interst
and those are make we are different each other,
we also have our own faith,
faith about anything we believe in some different areas in our life
and faith could make us face every single day
it could make us keep strong and brave even in a very unpredictable situation


But what if a faith has been poisoned by a lie,
could it be a good faith ever again..??
and what if that lie feels so true and make us dont even realize its poison..??
what could happen if that so..??
all that i know that we might be losing our grip
we are gonna fall down and we will hurt so bad
i dont really know the other effects
all that i know that it won't be good, it won't be nice
it will be just killing us.

For me, even just to keep my faith i have to struggle from many things hardly
cos i always wonder about things
and i always have questions about things
while we couldn't ask a faith
we could't doubt a faith
cos faith is something we do not see
faith is something we believe, we cling to
cos if we keep asking that is not a faith.


So now,
at this very moment,
im praying to God, the Creator of this universe
so that He might give me the wisdom,
an insight to discern lies in a faith
to keep my faith about His promises strong
to keep my eyes and my mind on Him
to be obedient and patient even things feel do not make any senses
even the world is changing
even some opinions are not gonna be the same
even life is full of questions and tempting me to walk away
even when i'm feeling all alone
even when it's raining
even when in a strom
i'm praying so i could have a power to keep my faith in You.


Walk by faith, not by sight..